I have been a big fan of Miriam Margolyes since I first saw her on the This Morning sofa, many years ago. Obviously, I was aware of her illustrious acting career well before that, but watching her being interviewed was a very different experience.

There was something so refreshing about seeing a lady of a certain age, with her rather posh accent, tickle the boundaries of daytime TV etiquette, shocking the show hosts into raucous laughter and probably touching the nerves of the TV executives. She was cheeky, challenging and charming, all at the same time, smiling sweetly with her big brown eyes flirting coquettishly, whilst farting love on air.

A fart does split an audience, not only if you are down wind of one, but one half of us find them hysterically funny while the other half are disgusted! But, we all do them! Whichever side of the fart-fence you are on, here’s a little more about Marmite Miriam!

Over the last year or so, I became a little more obsessed with watching Youtube clips of Miriam while I was in bed, guesting on the Graham Norton Show, where she shared stories that are way beyond the threshold of this publication, that just made me laugh out loud. I soon became quite addicted. I couldn’t get enough of her. This led me to taking her audiobook version of her first autobiography This Much is True with me on holiday. I think the local Spaniards must have thought I was totally away with the fairies, as I fell about screaming laughing in backstreets of Alicante. It was so good, the following year, I returned with her second autobiography Oh Miriam!

I was thrilled to see she was visiting St David’s Hall in Cardiff on her world book tour, but it was sold out. The show was moved to Wales Millennium Centre due to the RAAC issue, and I tried again at the larger venue- still sold out. Then, to my astonishment, I received an email from Miriam’s management saying: “Miriam would be delighted if you would interview her on stage while she is in Cardiff”. What?! I’d gone from ‘no room at the inn’ to the best seat in the house!

I could not believe my luck. I was about to sit in front of over 2,000 people and interviewed someone who I admired and respected. I wasn’t nervous, as I was as prepared as I possibly could be. Remember, I’d taken her to bed many times and she’d been on holiday with me twice! We met briefly in her dressing room, where she looked deep into my eyes, flirted with me beautifully, and I instantly felt a mutual trust.

There was no briefing, no guidelines, no diva demands. We were called to the stage, and as I stood in the wings with her, she thanked me for being there. Thanked me?! I had never been so grateful!

As we walked into the spotlight, the audience went wild. Sat centre stage, she said “Oh Stifyn, just look out into that auditorium. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” And it was. Every seat filled with a grinning fan waiting for her outrageous stories, and it was my job to get them out of her!

I started by saying, “Miriam, this is your first time at Wales Millennium Centre, but you may remember being invited to the opening of this beautiful building twenty years ago.” She looked at me, slightly perplexed, and shook her head. I said “The producer of the opening event phones your agent to invite you, but was told that you were sadly unavailable. That evening you personally rang that said producer to apologise and explain why you couldn’t make it, and after a short conversation you said ‘I don’t know who you are, young man, but you sound f****king gorgeous, darling!” I paused, and then said “Well, that producer was me.” Both she and the audience gasped, they clapped, as she held my hand and looked deep and warmly into my eyes. Then we were off!

The show was like a filthy and very enjoyable dream. She was like putty in my hands and every story she told sent the audience wild. She was just magic, funny, touching and joyous!

After the show, my good friend and celebrated artist, Nathan Wyburn, presented her with a fantastic portrait of her, painted on pages of her latest book. As we left the theatre, an audience member at the stage door said “You both we great, you are obviously close friends, how long have you known each other?” I looked at my watch and said “since about quarter past six!”

The next morning, I had to email her to say thanks. Thinking I’d never hear back- she is a globe-trotting busy bee – then ping! Back came her response. “You’re a new friend for life. Thank you over and over. I felt sad to leave, I’ll be back. To be continued. Hugs. MM”

Christmas really did come early for me this year. All I want now, on the big day, is the chance to do it all again! Dear Santa…

P.S. Her books would make a great stocking filler for anyone who needs more joy in their lives! Don’t we all?

Nadolig Llawen